Why isn't cocaine legal?

Cocaine fulfills the same function of mollis that housewives take, and to a much greater extent as well. Just like any drug, IF IT IS USED AS DIRECTED, it will immediatley cure any lingering issues regarding low self-esteem, shyness, inabilty to flirt, feelings of inadequacy, low ual drive, depression, and more or less all feelings related to negativity and weakness. If half the modern world's insecure teenagers just snorted up a rail every now and again they wouldn't feel the urge to cut themselves, commit suicide and shoot up their schools due to feelings of inadequacy. Even the high school kids should get in on the act - nerds, goths, emos, potential serial killers, losers, virgins and fat kids would have a much more confident and enjoyable high school experience if the black lunch lady would just plant a fat rail of Bolivia in their school lunches accompanied by a rolled up dollar bill. Maybe if boxers these days would step in the ring high on coke rather than steroids, then they might actually throw a punch from time to time. Even if the odd idiot OD's and refuses to use the drug as directed, death by coke would at least be an impressive and cool way to leave this God forsaken world for good. It's just advantage after advantage isn't it.