How do you have compion and love for yourself without indulging the whims of the ego?

You have compion and love of Self to allow for the sharing of it with others. You can't give of something you don't possess yourself. To say it's "ego" driven is only correct if it indulges that which is not a valid necessity. I think this is where we trip ourselves up, it's not wrong to have, it's only wrong not to wisely share as that makes you a hoarder and nothing in the universe is created in that manner.