Issues of control, any advice?

I think most of your problem stems from the fact that early in your life you were starved of affection. all the signs are there in your Q. And in your own words "I am not particularly interested in this guy" and yet you slept with him. The way forward is to mix more, be sociable, happy, just a little flirty but not get seriously involved. Try to find a wider circle of friends, both male and female, that way you will be able to keep in touch, and exercise that control you are capable of doing. The admiration and affection will come in small doses and then you can wait for the bigger attraction. Just feel comfortable with what is considered as normal life.